From Frustrating Behaviors to Fun: How to Gain Cooperation through Connection
What if I told you there was a way to turn the most boring and frustrating aspects of your day with your kids into fun, enjoyable moments? Welcome! I’m Mary Peterson Cook with Mary Peterson Cook Ventures. I’m here to help you break those generational traumas, learn to parent from a place of connection and acceptance, and foster more effective communication—all without feeling like you’re losing your mind.
Parenting can indeed be challenging, especially when trying to manage daily routines and your kid has some frustrating behaviors. This month in my **Parenting from Connection community**, we are diving into my *Gaining Cooperation through Connection* training. With weekly challenges, we break down parenting into simple, easy, and enjoyable ways to use connection to gain cooperation. Remember, this isn’t about forcing compliance; it’s about creating an environment where your kids want to cooperate because they feel connected.
Transforming Daily Frustrations
Let’s face it: transitions like brushing teeth, getting ready for bed, and putting on shoes can derail the day. Going from playing with Legos or watching a show to something mundane like brushing teeth isn’t easy for kids—or adults, for that matter.
Think about one of your most frustrating daily tasks with your child. For me, it used to be brushing my child’s teeth. Toddler teeth-brushing felt like trying to brush a baby alligator’s teeth: there was rolling, kicking, head-turning, and roaring. It was anything but peaceful.
Initially, my fear of cavities and poor hygiene led me to approach this task with control rather than connection. I soon realized that in order to teach him this essential habit, I needed to let go of the fear and control. Instead, I needed to focus on our ultimate goal: my child learning to brush his teeth properly.
Building Cooperation Through Fun
The concept of scaffolding served me well. I began by asking my child for just five seconds of brushing. Over time, I integrated logic, reasoning, and finally, connection to make it more enjoyable. How? By adding something universally loved—music!
The Power of Song
Kids of all ages adore songs, even teenagers (though they might label it “cringe”). By singing instead of yelling, you can transform a stressful moment into a fun one. Singing allows you to release the same energy but in a kind and non-threatening manner. Plus, it’s hard to take someone seriously when they’re singing at you!
For instance, instead of sternly saying, “I told you to get ready,” you could sing, “I told you to get ready!” It captures their attention, and it’s more lighthearted. It also retrains your brain to respond calmly rather than react harshly.
A Simple Song for Brushing Teeth
Let me share a song that made a world of difference in our tooth-brushing routine. It’s set to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and is both simple and effective:
“Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brusha, brusha, brush your teeth
Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brusha, brusha, your teeth
You brush them in the morning
Brush them in the evening
Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brusha, brusha, your teeth.
You brush the fronts and backs
You brush the fronts and backs
Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brusha, brusha, your teeth.
You brush the tops and bottoms
Brush the tops and bottoms
Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brusha, brusha, your teeth.
You brush the gums and tongue
You brush the gums and tongue
Brush, brush, brush your teeth
Brusha, brusha, your teeth.”
This song made brushing an enjoyable and funny experience, reducing resistance dramatically. Even now, my son loves it and finds the high-pitched ending hilarious. It’s a joyful moment and an educational tool rolled into one.
Quick Connection Tips
You don’t need elaborate activities to connect with your child. Small acts of connection can make a huge difference. For example, when getting ready for bed, simply quickly putting your kid’s clothes on while making a funny noise, or racing to get dressed can make these routine tasks more enjoyable.
Consider this quick checklist for frustrating moments:
- Is this an age-appropriate expectation? Consider scaffolding tasks to their ability level.
- What help do they need? Sometimes they just need your guidance or a fun approach.
- How can I make this enjoyable? Make the task fun for both of you.
Remember, connection doesn’t have to be time-consuming. It can be as quick as a ten-second fun interaction.
Join the Community
If you’re ready to take these strategies to the next level, join us in the Parenting from Connection community. We focus on keeping things light and manageable with practical ideas and no judgment. We’re all starting from different points and making progress together.
Click the link to learn more! Hope to see you there!- http://marypetersoncook.com/pfc-innercircle
By turning daily frustrations into bonding moments, you create a peaceful, enjoyable home environment that fosters cooperation and connection. So, the next time you’re about to issue some orders, pause, connect, and maybe even sing a little song.
